There is a difference between being headstrong and being strong-willed. One is valid, even commendable; the other is offputting and leads to strife and division within the body of Christ. Both of my daughters are strong-willed, as is their mother. That said, if enough evidence is brought to bear to demonstrate that Dad is always right, and they could learn a thing or two from the old man, they will acquiesce and admit their folly. It may not always be thus, and I’ve been warned repeatedly by girl dads who have older daughters that I would do well to stock up on some Pepto Bismol before they hit their teenage years, but for now, I’ll take the win and deal with the teenage angst if and when it arises.
The headstrong, however, will do no such thing even when
mountains of evidence are presented to contradict their position. Because of
this uniquely frustrating character flaw, they tend to dig in their heels and
double down on their assertions.
While being headstrong is not a sin in itself when living
your everyday life and dealing with the ever-decreasing intelligence quotient
of individuals you have to deal with on a given day, it becomes problematic
when we are headstrong regarding the truth of Scripture, what it says, and what
God commands, and when we take a contrarian position to these things.
In case I haven’t mentioned it, God is always right; man is
not. I have to allow for the possibility that I may be wrong concerning some
topic or another, and if the Word of God brings clarity to the matter, then I
must submit to its authority and surrender my position. It may be humbling, and
it may wound the ego, but if my utmost desire is to be in fellowship with God,
then I must submit to His will and not my own.
It’s an endless cycle of frustration when someone responds
with feelings when you quote Scripture and insists that their feelings take
precedence over the Word of God because that’s just the way they want it. Even
in the face of such folly, you must remain patient and be willing to reiterate
the truth, but at some point, it will become painfully obvious if the
individual isn’t just a slow learner but headstrong and determined to stand on
their opinion though it may conflict with the Word.
Perhaps the most significant harm the headstrong cause in a
given congregation is the fractured state they create by dividing into cliques
and groups within the overall body. They gravitate toward those who agree with
them on some tertiary issue, giving off an air of spiritual superiority because
of that one thing.
It’s not a competition. We are one body with Christ as our
head. Even though my right hand does the writing, it has never looked down on
my left hand and considered it less than or inadequate. Every member of one’s
body serves a purpose. Every organ has a predetermined function that it must
carry out for the body to be healthy, vibrant, and strong. If my heart one day
decided it wanted to do the job of my kidneys, or my lungs decided they wanted
to do the job of my brain, it would fall apart quite spectacularly in short
order.
The body of Christ must have order therein, and each member
must know their function and the ministry to which they have been called. It’s
not about our pride or our ego; it’s about where God needs us, and being where
He told us to be is what makes us good and faithful servants.
More often than not, the image the headstrong have of
themselves clashes with God’s image and the reality of who they really are. As
such, that to which they believe they should have been called is not what God
has called them to. Be faithful in what God has called you to do even if your
flesh whispers that it’s insignificant or beneath you. It’s obedience that
stands out to God, not the function we perform within a particular church or
ministry. Am I being obedient and faithful to the calling to which I have been
called? That should be the only question we wrestle with every day.
The headstrong possesses certain character traits that are
universal because the same tree produces the same fruit regardless of geography
or social standing. Whether it’s being unteachable or ungovernable within a
church body, the headstrong will always have something to complain about, and
some issues they insist they would have resolved more thoroughly if given the
chance to prove themselves. For instance, they might resist the leadership’s
decision on a particular ministry approach, or they might insist on their interpretation
of a scripture despite the church’s teaching because their need to be right
overrides the desire for unity within the body.
The headstrong are also more apt to reject correction, even
when it’s blindingly obvious that it was warranted. Bitterness seems to be a
constant companion of the headstrong as well because there’s always that
feeling of resentment bubbling up beneath the surface due to their assertion
that they are not being used in the capacity they think they ought to be.
I’ve witnessed more schisms within ministries and churches
due to the headstrong in their midst than any other reason. Their mindset is
not a biblical one wherein all parties involved agree to reason together; instead,
their position is my way or the highway, take it or leave it. This is the way
it’s going to be because it’s the way I want it to be. Such behavior leads to
division, lack of unity, and a focus on personal preferences rather than the
mission of the church.
When asked if they’d be willing to sit down, talk about it,
and discuss the matter at hand calmly and with forethought, and under the
covering of brotherly love, the answer is usually that there is nothing to
discuss because they’ve made up their mind, and they will not be swayed.
You cannot reason with the headstrong. To one such as these,
it’s all take and no give, and unless you agree with them in every area, at all
times, they will disfellowship and make you out to be the villain. There is
always a predisposition to play the victim whenever the headstrong are
confronted because if they can’t convince you of their position, they will
attempt to deflect from the underlying cause of the disagreement in whatever
way they can. In such situations, it’s essential to maintain a spirit of love
and patience while also standing firm on the truth and not compromising on
biblical principles.
Yes, it’s a fine line, but one we must strive to walk, knowing that if anyone among us wanders from the truth and they are turned back, a soul will be saved from death. That soul is worth more than our pride or need to be right.
With love in Christ,
Michael Boldea, Jr.
Posted on 2 August 2024 | 10:33 am
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